Lol.

I'm such a chick.
Shhh.

So i'm ATTEMPTING to get some of that pile of HW that i've been whinging about done. Luckily, I found the essays that I had on loose paper and didn't have to rewrite them. THANK GOD. My history teacher is going to eat me if I don't hand my work in tomorrow though, and I haven't even started that. I've been doing my english, because I decided that pacifying a teacher that I owe two books to is more important.

UGH.

I wish that I could just know what I want to do, then at least i'd have something to work towards, instead of just feeling like it's all pointless.

School kind of sucks. I know that everyone says it, but it doesn't stop it from being true. I kind of like working better, though I know if I leave i'll probably be stuck in a hole of a job like the one I have forever. Choices, choices, hey? School, or 7.50 an hour forever?


Everyone keeps asking what i'm going to do when I leave, and I just don't know what to say. Everyone I know at least has an idea, if not an extremely detailed plan. Maybe I should just chill, and stop worrying about everyone?

Yeah right. Like i've ever done that in my life.
Whatever.

My mum's trying to get me to leave Lorien, and i'm thinking that it might be the right thing to do, but I really, really don't think I could bring myself to do that. I've been with my class so long, you know? I don't give a shit around them, or at least I care less that when i'm around everyone else. That's a tough thing to give up. Also, I love them all a ton. I don't WANT to leave, and I wish that my mum would just sit back and let me be for once. She's always 'constructively criticizing', you know? I get that she's trying to help, and that it isn't on purpose that she makes me feel bad, but getting that all your life fucks a person up. I never really feel like i'm good enough, that anyone can like me for me. I always feel the need to try so hard.


Mum says that she might get a promotion, and we'd be moving to Melbourne. She asked if i'd go, and I said i'd think about it.
I want to stay. I don't care if I live with dad and travel to school, I really don't. Maybe then i'd actually get some freedom to be a normal teenager. You know, she won't even let me go for a walk up to the corner shop on my own? If I say i'm going to the movies, I practically have to write a fucking itinerary. Lately i've just been going to friends' and going out from there. I know that that's a bad habit to get into, but I feel like she's making me.



So yeah.
My current issues in a nutshell.

Thursday is Winter fest, and it'll probs blow majorly. Then Holidays. Unfortunately, with those come my midyear report, and I know that I didn't do good at all this year. I don't think I handed in like, 90% of my work. I need to get my act together, but it's so hard. My problem is that it takes 50 years for me to do everything, because I keep deciding that it's crap and I need to start over. I wish I didn't have to try so hard. Why does nothing come to me effortlessly? Except, of course, being hopelessly emo in livejournal posts.

I totally have that down to an art.

I think she's figured out how much I don't care.

PARKWAY DRIVE TOMORROW!
Very nice.

I wish that I could see Escape the Fate, though. Some new kid in my class is. She's seeing Panic too, which means she won't be on the Central Aus. trip. Actually, a lot of the new kids aren't coming. Which means it'll just be us again! I'm a bit excited.

When you have about 14 or so people that have been together for years and years, they don't take newcomers well. My class is my family and so it's weird. But Parkway is just about 10 of us, no new kids. Though, I kind of love Danni lol. She can come any time.

=[
I can't believe that Panic and CS and TAI are going to be in my state. Together. Being awesome. While i'm on the other side of the country...

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is cheating. no cheating, please.


( FOLLOW )

I made the greatest pizzas ever last night. Lebanese bread pizza! I'd write down a recipe, but I kind of made it up as I went along.

So, i'm editing my lj. Revealing true insights into my soul of souls, as demonstrated by the now public April 12, 2007 . I'm also making other entries private. So, I have them but no one else can be exposed to them, haha.

I Love A Sunburnt Country

Written by Dorothea MacKellar


The love of field and coppice,
Of green and shaded Lanes,
Of ordered woods and gardens,
Is running in your veins;
Strong love of grey-blue distance,
Brown streams and soft, dim skies -
I know but cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of drought and flooding rains,
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel sea,
Her beauty and her terror -
The wide brown land for me.

The tragic ring-barked forests
Stark white beneath the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains,
The hot gold hush of noon.
Green tangle of the brushes
Where lithe lianas coil,
An orchids deck the tree-tops
And ferns the crimson soil.

Core of my heart, my country!
Her pitiless blue sky,
When sick at heart around us
We see the cattle die -
But then the grey clouds gather
And we can bless again
The drumming of an army,
The steady, soaking rain.

Core of my heart, my country!
Land of the Rainbow Gold,
For flood and fire and famine,
She pays us back threefold;
Over the thirsty paddocks,
Watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness
That thickens as we gaze.

An opal-hearted country,
A wilful, lavish land -
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand -
Though Earth holds many splendours,
Wherever I may die,
I know to what brown Country
My homing thoughts will fly.

When we went to pick up the new HP book on Saturday, 'Hagrid' and 'Ginny' were there. Dad reckons that it's a bit depressing when you say hi to Hagrid and he replies with a "g'day, mate."

AHHHHHRRRGH!

*claws face off*


I just accidentally read spoilers for the last episode of SPN. My plan to avoid fic in that fandom until after I finish watching all the episodes didn't last very long. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SAFE. IT WAS SET AGESSSSS AGO! FIRST SEASON! EVERYTHING IS RUINED FOREVERRR.

'The central belief is that there is an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster, which created the entire universe "after drinking heavily." All evidence for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith; a form of the Omphalos hypothesis. When scientific measurements, such as radiocarbon dating, are made, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage."'

I like to watch shows that are taped or on dvd and freeze them at weird points, and wait for people to find them.

http://www.eskimo.com/~spban/bread.html

More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

So, dad took us to a fair in the middle of nowhere today. An hour and a half of driving each way. We bought throwdowns.

I love throwdowns. I stole a packet of them that dad bought.

I think that I would buy a VW Beatle, just for the sadistic pleasure of knowing that everytime I drive somewhere, people are getting punched. If not a VW, then at least a yellow car. But not a yello VW, punch-buggy spot-o is too easy.

I love how people online capitalise 'real life'. Real Life has interfered, I know her in Real Life.